Neil Belenkie: CEO, GrowthPoint Group
Picture a prehistoric hominid with eyebrows like hanging ferns staring quietly out of his cave. He surveys the jungle, right to left and left to right, and decides that, yes, that probably was a sabre-toothed tiger he just saw, a little to the left of the 90-foot-long snake. The search for food today is going to be intense. …
Unfortunately, aside from the cave, not much has changed. We do what we have to do to support our families, engaging in epic battles of networking events and business planning meetings. Where is the balance? Frankly, until retirement I think balance is impossible.
In my world, what's more important than balance is open communication with my family. Having clarity around the dates and times that my family needs me is mandatory; it's only when they need me and I'm not there that I let them down.
My wife's job (minister of domestic affairs) is much tougher than mine (minister of finance); she is raising three young boys and managing our household. She is the rock star, not me.
I am committed to weekends with my family and every Tuesday night is date night with my wife. These are sacred and almost never compromised.
Our time together is quality time, celebrated and appreciated. Although I leave home before breakfast and am very rarely home for dinner, we are always there for each other. That's how we keep things balanced.
Lisa Martin: Leadership coach, consultant and author of Briefcase Moms and the forthcoming In Search of Success and Significance
I don't. Balance is bunk.
Instead, I harmonize my roles and responsibilities. Harmony is happiness.
When people think of balance, they often think about having it all, all of the time. But the truth is, this is unobtainable – or obtainable only at great cost. In fact, I believe, if you strive for balance you may lose your mind or other valuable body parts.
Harmony, on the other hand, is about seeing the big picture of your whole life and designing it in a way that all the pieces fit and work together well. I have one life that combines career, family and self; not separate compartments I am trying to balance.
Harmony is about having what matters most to you – and that ebbs and flows depending on your age and stage in life.
To find harmony as a parent, I focus on my priorities – my family and my career and reduce any competition between them. I purposefully release guilt (a completely wasted emotion), remove my "shoulds" and let go of perfection. I don't question whether I am doing the right things. Instead, I focus on doing the right things the right way. This maximizes my return on effort as I say yes to the truly important (not to be confused with the urgent) and no to the unimportant.
I am very clear that my hands-on parenting journey is a temporary one (OK: the days do feel long, but the years really are short). And that reality directs my choices every day.
Diana Stirling: Owner of three businesses, a 2011 recipient of BIV's Forty under 40 award and speaker/author on the value of imbalance at PretirementLiving.com
I don't believe work-life balance exists. Work, family and living constantly overlap and intermingle. We can't erect boundaries between them and try to slot each into some sort of formula like 1 unit family + 1 unit work + 1 unit of living = balance.
My solution has been to take a different perspective. My goal is fulfilment – across all aspects of my life. That creates imbalance, practically all the time.
By embracing the imbalance, my businesses have soared and I've been able to introduce my children to eight countries in three years – spending 30% of each year travelling and experiencing new cultures.
My belief is we should look at life like a pitcher to be filled. How the pitcher gets filled changes day to day, and we don't have total control over how it gets filled. If one day life hands you a few cups of family, a few cups of living and only a shot glass of career then, you should take that and embrace it.
Live in that moment.
Then, when life hands you almost a pitcherful of business because you have a huge project you're closing and only a thimble of family, embrace that.
Once we stop pressuring each other to create a life full of equal parts of career, family and life and welcome imbalance, our pitchers will fill up with the amazing life moments – whatever they may be.
Continually striving for imbalance is when you stop placing limits on each element of your life and truly achieve fulfilment.
